Part 2) Should break up but I’m scared.. I planned my life out with her and revolving her and I don’t want it to not happen.. I do. But no matter how many times I tell her I need her to keep moving on no matter how hard it gets, she just gives up and then later when she wants to do it, it’s harder. I just, I’m independent and she’s not. Maybe it’s my fault you know? She’s sensitive and sweet, and will do almost anything for me. She loves me to death. It’s just hard, we are 17! So we can’t move out yet.
I’m not quite sure what you are referring to when you said, “But no matter how many times I tell her I need her to keep moving on no matter how hard it gets, she just gives up and then later when she wants to do it, it’s harder.” Is there something specific happening and reoccurring that is making her give up? Anyways, it sounds like there are some things going on with her right now that you just either don’t have the time/ motivation/ or energy to deal with? I guess, you need to put yourself in her shoes to try and understand better what it is that she needs from you. I have said this to everyone who has come asking for advice: “Communication is key!!!” It’s equivalent to the oxygen we breathe. Without it, the relationship will suffocate. If the relationship isn’t working then maybe you could continue to be moral support as just a friend. I understand the feelings of not wanting to give up on someone. But here are two things to consider: If the relationship is making you unhappy, it is time to do what is best for you. Whether that means breaking it off completely or still staying in touch is up to you. Second, if you are not willing or unable to reciprocate the work that a relationship needs to survive, then she deserves someone better. You both do. You both deserve to be with someone you would jump through hoops and over the fence for and who would do the same for you. You guys aren’t even in college yet. There is no way you could have planned out your life with each other and expected it to actually turn out that way. Who you are and who she is, will not be the same after college. You will grow and mature mentally and learn to think for yourselves and develop new values in life. I’m not saying that it is impossible for you to remain in each others lives, just that it won’t typically turn out how you are foreseeing it. Don’t let the thought of “throwing your lives together away” influence your decision. Hope this helps some. We are always willing to chat more if you need to. <3